She Was A Gray Lady

She was born in October of 1908, 12 years before ratification of the 19^th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution gave women the right to vote. Soon after her mother and father had married, they left their farm families behind in Hunterdon County and moved to Perth Amboy to make their fortune and raise their family.

Her father was the youngest of seven children, five of whom survived to be adults. William, her grandfather, had bought the small farm for $500 after his discharge from the Union Army in the Civil War. The farm was not large enough to support the full family. Her parents left the farm confident he could earn the money to support their family as an apprentice carpenter.

My favorite Gray Lady on the left, bringing a gift to a recovering service man at Camp Kilmer.

He was a hard worker. He was smart. He was driven. He soon set out on his own as a contractor. From building back porches and sheds he progressed to building homes and then commercial buildings. He worked and he saved.

He bought the lumber yard where he purchased his building material. He organized a construction company. He hired good men. He got involved in politics. He became a local elected official. He joined the board of a local bank. He got to know the Governor of New Jersey, a fellow Perth Amboy resident. The Governor appointed him to the board of the New York New Jersey Port of Authority.

While on the Port Authority board (mid-1930s–Nov. 21, 1939), the Authority brought the Lincoln Tunnel into service (Dec. 1937), was finishing and opening the major George Washington Bridge approach and tunnel work (1937–39), and was operating and improving the Holland Tunnel — all big, visible, revenue-producing pieces of the Port Authority system in that decade.

She had two older brothers. They drove trucks for the lumber company while their father trained them in anticipation of having them run the family business. They eventually each started their own lumber companies. His younger son was a true entrepreneur. While still in high school, he bought a car with his part time wages and rented the car to his high school teachers even before he could .legally drive himself. After starting his own lumber company, the younger son bought and owned the first transit mix concrete truck in New Jersey. As the concrete part of his business grew he provided all the concrete for the garden state race tract.

While her father had his sons driving trucks for the lumber company, he insisted his daughter go to college. So, off to Beaver College near Philadelphia she went. At five feet two inches tall she played field hockey, danced around a May Pole, and trained to be a teacher. She graduated during the depression. There were no teaching jobs.

People who had jobs were hanging on to them as best they could. Fortunately, she had learned office skills while working from time to time at the lumber company. She took what she had learned during a part time job in the office of the lumber company and obtained employment with the American Red Cross. The Red Cross was growing with the need for the services it provided in the time of the depression.

The depression hit many people hard. Her father lost most of his wealth when the bank he served as a board. member failed, as most small banks of the day failed. There was no federal government guarantee of bank deposits as we have today. At the time most ethical board. members who did not "jump ship" but tried to save the deposits of their customers, lost much of their personal wealth.

The man who became her husband dropped out of college when his father died at age 52 during the depression. With the ability to pay for college all but evaporated, he managed to get into dental school without a college degree. He somehow figured out how to pay his way. He graduated with a degree, a DDS, as a Doctor of Dental Surgery, .

The couple started their life together in half of a two-family rented house. They managed to acquire a small building lot. Her father supervised the constrution of their home. They lived the ordinary life of a couple at the time. He worked hard building his dental practice. She left her job to manage their home and raise two boys. She volunteered in their church. She became president of the women'sclub. She became a cub scout den mother. She never forgot her first job. She volunteered as a Gray Lady to help the American Red Cross.

The “Gray Ladies” were officially called the Red Cross Gray Lady Corps, were volunteer nurses' aides organized by the American Red Cross from the 1930s through the 1970s. They were especially active during the 1940s and 1950s, including World War II. They got their nickname from their distinctive uniform — a gray dress with a white collar and cap, symbolizing neutrality and service.

They comforted patients by writing letters for them, reading aloud, or simply visiting and talking. They assisted nurses with non-medical duties such as distributing books, newspapers, and comfort items. They organized recreational activities, helped with therapy programs, and escorted patients to appointments. They received training through the Red Cross in hospital etiquette, patient interaction, and confidentiality. They were not medical professionals. They acted as a bridge between patients and staff — providing emotional and moral support.

Membership peaked during World War II, when tens of thousands served at home and abroad. She served first at Camp Kilmer helping with War Veterans and later, after moving to Flemington, at the then new Huntedon Medical Center where she logged over 1,000 hours of volunteer service.

Her husband died of a heart attack in 1957 at age 52, two days after a physical examination pronounced him in perfect health. She finally used her college education. She took over a kindergarten class in Flemington. She had two sons to support besides herself. Her older son was in college and the younger in middle school.

She was diagnosed as having cancer. After surgery and related treatment, she was pronounced as having beaten the desease. She had fought with help from family and friends for seven years, the time thought to get her into a safe zone. But that was not to be. Cancer returned. At the time the Medical Center did not have the ability to provide treatment. So off to New York City again. But this time Cancer got to the point that she depended on other people to a much greater extent than before. Finally the mother, kindengarden teach, field hockey player, volunteer gray lady, lying in a hospital bed in the Hunterdon Medical Center in March of 1972, jointed her husband in heaven.

She was my mother. The Grandmother of my children. The driving force behind anything I am thought to have achieved.